Everything has to evolve – I’m always telling people that especially other business people that I meet during my networking with 4Networking (www.4networking.biz).

Practice what you preach – is another old adage that we sometimes overlook. Well I must do, because I have been forgetting that I tell other people about life, people and business having to evolve to stay in the forefront of your game…And here I was not evolving?! Why?

Because I stopped believing, I stopped believing in my own ability as a person with a lot of common-sense, a lot of accumulated knowledge throughout my working and personal life.

I had one of those ‘light-bulb’ moments or as my business coach used to say a ‘BFO’ a ‘Blinding Flash of the Obvious’ – good grief, about time I paid attention to some of my own BFOs.

Since starting my business as a VA as I originally classified myself (VA being virtual assistant, a person who assists businesses and business owners to complete their administration tasks in a timely fashion) to re-emerging as a VPA (virtual PA because I felt I offered a more rounded service where I looked after the business owner as much as the business, taking their personal life into more regard)

I have since re-evaluated myself and my business; I have been offering support to many start-up VAs and many other types of businesses that are either new to the business world or networking is unfamiliar territory and even quite  a few that hate technology, the thought of sending an email let alone getting involved in the on-line promotion of their business is terrifying and quite frankly makes them quite dismissive of using that form of communication let alone admitting it could help them to promote themselves or their business.

So originally my intention had been to offer to complete that work for them – this is not going to be a great success because we all know that people buy from people…so these business owners that are just about realising that they need to take action rather than pay someone else to complete the work (which itself is a long term financial prospect, it also means that they have ignored the person behind the business element).

How to get round this little fly in the ointment? Hmmm… Ok here goes!

Do you need advice and support about how to network, where to network for your business and your personality…

What you need to do to market your business and yourself – who should you, be talking to?

Do you need help with the basics of how to use a computer; write and send emails, sign-up for on-line directories?

What is this ‘Social Media’ that I keep hearing about…surely it’s not good for my business, I can’t use that stuff!

So what is holding you back from starting or developing your business? Do you need help and support from someone who has ‘been there, done that’? I can help you get started, give you valuable introductions and stop you from making some of the mistakes I made when starting out. Don’t put it off any longer; evolve yourself and your business today.

I just wanted to share my latest good news!

I have won a new client this week via a referral from a fellow business person and networker.

This person has given referrals for me before, but as always I was extremely pleased when he pre-warned me of the work and the prospect of the new client. Sadly though after a couple of weeks I had heard nothing, so I returned to my colleague and asked a couple of questions about the prospect and the type of work and some contact details to complete my own follow-up. Unfortunately he had mislaid the original email with any contact details – so it looked like a dead-end.

Then last week…out of the blue…. I received an email from my colleague, saying ‘Look what I found’!

I couldn’t believe it, the original email he had received asking for any known contacts that could perform the necessary work. Woohoo….I was very pleased and mailed back to say so. I then emailed the prospect to follow-up on his original enquiry and to find out if he had managed to source the necessary person to complete his work. He had not….how good was that?!

Following an exchange of emails we agreed to meet to discuss the work further, and hey presto…I now have a new client and a rather interesting and exciting project to work on!

So my thanks go to Steve Axtell Itseeze for his referral

Referrals are the absolute ‘gold dust’ of the business world – and they absolutely are the mainstay of my business, as a virtual PA role is very personal.

Are you feeling overwhelmed? Do all your days seem far too busy?

Does your Things to Do list reach the floor, and make you feel dizzy?

Do you need an extra pair of hands for all your personal tasks?

Out of Office can help you, and you only have to ask.

I can choose and write your Christmas cards; I’ll act as your PA,

Help with travel, collect dry cleaning, even order that bouquet,

I can source a special venue; I can shop for you online,

I can even sort out personal gifts, if you don’t have the time.

I’m trustworthy, discreet; a real bonus in your life,

You’ll find you can rely on me; your perfect office wife,

But although I’ll give you perfect days; be there to make things right,

Remember – I’m your OFFICE wife; I won’t be there at night!

©Jan Jack’s Perfect Verse 2010

What does success mean to you, does it mean getting out of bed each day and facing the challenges ahead of you?

Does success mean facing your demons, and then being able to close the door on them?

Does success mean making stacks and stacks of money, to spend on anything you like without really thinking about it?

Following a fairly emotive conversation this week where my definition of success was challenged, I decided to declare my definition of success.

The last few years have been very difficult following some personal mountains that both my husband and I had to climb; we both lost our jobs within one month of each other back in 2008, and when you’ve spent years working on your “career” and rising to the echelons of supposed success, where you are earning a “nice” wage between you and you have attained the house of your dreams maybe, the luxuries of life, nice cars to drive, shopping without due consideration on how much you were spending on your food and general household goods; losing that income and the lifestyle, and maybe the security.

The belief that a you are secure in your lifestyle, that you have planned for your future and you will be able to retire at a certain age, you will be able to have the holidays that you want.

When that is taken away from you without due notice it can be totally devastating emotionally, let’s forget the financial side of this that’s hard to enough to cope with, plus you still have all those trappings to pay for, that lifestyle to either forget, maintain or try to recover maybe.
So to help us ascend this mountain of ours we both retrained and both started our own businesses, which we’ve both been running now for around a year each, and are both doing very nicely thank you; that’s where my question of success was brought into play.

I argued that very thing to somebody, that ‘we’re doing very nicely thank you,’ we are doing well with our businesses, but the accusation was laid at my door that I was contradicting myself by saying that, when I was also saying that I haven’t got the money for this or haven’t got the money for that. I didn’t bother arguing with my definition of success at that point it didn’t seem worthwhile but it did lead me to think that this subject was worthy of blog for a number of reasons; it can actually be very cathartic to face these challenges and to bring them into open discussion.
I have chosen you as my audience for this discussion, my associates, my friends, my business colleagues and even people I don’t know, and you may be just starting out in business or even have been in business a number of years, you may be one of those people has that has “made it”.

So in our  “middle-age” we’ve had to relearn, not just relearn our trade, but how to run a business, and to redefine what is important, what really can be managed with or without and our/ my definition of success.

Our/ my definition of success is building a huge network of business associates, colleagues people we can turn to for advice, and real friends; because one thing we have really learnt from changing from employee status to business people is that the people you work with as an employee are invariably just people you work with, no matter how long you’ve worked with them or how close you think you’ve got with that person when you no longer work there you slip from the memory, maybe this is simply the human condition.

So to continue with my idea of success;

• it’s getting up each day and getting on with the business and still being able to run that business each day,
• it’s by hearing referrals from business colleagues and clients, and people you network with saying how good you are at your job, how clever you were to do this, how great you were to do that,
• to relate/ interact with virtual strangers on a daily basis and become such close associates and friends
• it’s winning a new client.

Because certainly real friends have been made through all this;  and at the end of it, maybe just enough money coming in for life’s necessities is our/ my success, paying the bills is success, satisfaction is success, knowing we are doing a good job is success, the next new client is success, by achieving all this in our own name (despite everything) is SUCCESS!

Ok so now you think I’m off my trolley – but really I’m not, think about it.

If I put this into an easy to understand scenario for you (I’m not being patronising here ok?)

You have developed a leak, water is pouring through your ceiling and you need to stop it ruining your carpet…Or any other time you might need to move a quantity of water; but you have no bucket, bowl, basin etc (bear with me). So you grab the only thing you have to hand a colander (no not a calendar )You fill your colander with water and take it to the sink (for instance) to empty, and surprise it’s already empty apart from a few dribbles of water…I know and you know that this is because a colander is designed to let water drain through! So it’s done its job.

If you are sending out messages on Twitter and are not using something to allow the messages to be caught they will also drain through the holes of your colander! So if you need to direct your message at a particular person or group of people you have to use the hook designed to allow their messages to be caught ‘@’ – this simple symbol comes with its own little hook ‘@’ this makes it very easy to remember.

Include a hook ‘@’ then the user name and the message will get caught in their personal feed, so they can see you have mentioned them or directed a comment at them.

Another symbol not always readily understood to new users of Twitter is hash # and in particular #FF.

The hash # symbol is to allow particular subjects/ trends to be followed easily by other people, so #thenwcalendar is showing a trend about the recent charity calendar that I took part in, and if you complete a search starting #thenwcalendar it will bring up all of the conversations going on, on Twitter about that subject.

#FF is Follow Friday – this has been started to offer a thank you to the people mentioned in the #FF list that has been generated by that user. It is thank you, this person is interesting, this person is worth following, help this person out, they’ve helped me out (you get the idea) but for the thank you to be properly registered, the earlier rule applies – you must attach a hook ‘@’ or the person mentioned will never know.

You may as well open a giant door into ‘cyberspace’ and shout from the doorway in to the darkness if you do not use a hook – unless the person you want to hear the message is on-line at that precise time, the message will float away into ‘cyberspace’.

I was lucky enough to be asked to take part in an absolutely fabulous fund raising event for charity!
I thought I had missed out on the chance of being involved in the venture and I was really disappointed and I told the organisers Lisa Cherry and Sue Carlisle of my disappointment – these lovely ladies run alongside their individual businesses, ‘Networking Women’ which is based in Oxfordshire.
Then luckily for me, I just happened to be on Twitter when a post was put out asking for new subbies for the event as two people had to cancel, thereby meaning the stand-ins had already been called. Excellent news for me, I jumped at the chance to get my name in the mix – I was so enthusiastic about the whole project.
I can hear you asking “but what is this amazing project?”
No I’ll tell you in a bit…

I had the amazing good fortune of being asked to be a stand-in for a charity calendar, in case anyone had to drop out or got cold-feet! Though I have to say, ‘feet being cold’ was hardly going to be the issue here – the calendar was to be of ‘naked’ women that take part in business networking….Yes ok I said naked!
After agreeing to be a stand-in the day before the shoot was to take place was great, never thought at that stage that anyone else would dropout so I was excited and agreed to go along for the day to join in the fun…
I drove to the venue for the photo shoot; Heythrop Park in Oxfordshire is beautiful, first time I have ever been there (mind you if the sat-nav had its way…Well you probably know what I mean) So I arrived with a suitcase (a small one, you understand) but I had to take shoes (half a dozen pairs) hats, scarves, pashmina’s, jewellery, make-up…You girls will understand, ignore the silly comments from the men
I wasn’t the only one, when I found the rest of the girls in a bedroom that had been set aside for us for changing; I found both beds and a lot of the floor covered in an assortment of paraphernalia, from guitars (yes at least two) hats, cuddly toys, colourful wraps, shoes; it was an Aladdin’s cave of girly bits and bobs…And then there were the girls, most had already arrived and been glammed up/ hair done and were in dressing gowns, eating chocolates and having an absolute ball…The atmosphere in the room was palpable everyone was so excited, nervous, hyped, giggly…You didn’t need alcohol in this room, pure energy crackled and enveloped me as I entered.
All of us were treated to wonderful make-up and hairstyles by Jean (our absolute star) she worked tirelessly throughout the day with the help of her assistant (her secretary actually) and we were transformed in no time – stunned, wowed we could not believe the magic that Jean had brought about in such a short time, such a transformation and such a variety of hair do’s and the appropriate make-up to match – wow!
As each girl was transformed she was taken off for her individual photo shoot with Belinda McCarthy a fellow 4N’er and such a lovely girl – she had such patience (we were all a bit over excited). Belinda used her own artistic flair to place us in the position she had envisaged and took great pains to ensure all the girls taking part felt totally relaxed and comfortable.
Heythrop Park provided us with a lovely buffet lunch, bubbly (yes we had bubbly, not that we needed it but it made the day even more special).
After a day of socialising, chatting, giggling and being pampered we had the last shot of the day – the group shot!
We were taken to a large room that looked like a very large library/ study/ conference room and we all removed our gowns ready to get into position. This was a different experience again, posing individually with just Belinda in the room…now we had to all pose together, but after a wonderful day the initial cautiousness evaporated and we all went into the pose with more than a little excitement.
There was a lot of concern about different bits not being on display (what are we like)…pose, then Belinda was asked to say a ‘rude’ word to make us laugh. Well, the ‘rude’ word was a lot ruder than we expected and more than you would expect from this lovely little girl photographer….hahaha!
Oh dear we roared, it was hilarious, though this in itself caused a few disturbances to our poses requiring a few alterations (you understand). A couple of group shots later we were done…Or so we thought. The location had been very concerned about members of the public perhaps being exposed (excuse the pun) to our ‘bodies’ our ‘nudity’?! But just as we were about to go and dress we were told we could take one shot outside on the steps of Heythrop Hall – excellent we had hankered for this all day; we all whispered about doing a ‘flash’ as the photo was taken (this was strictly forbidden). Once we found out that our escort for the day Jo would get into serious trouble if we did break this condition, we conceded ?
We finished our photo shoot with our shot on the steps of Heythrop Hall by only exposing our shoulders, and a bit of cleavage and legs…Still lovely shots…And what a fantastic day!!
We are now having a cocktail party at Heythrop Park to launch our charity calendar – it would be lovely to sell all available tickets (the price includes a copy of the calendar) and to see as many of you as possible at the launch – so please help raise vital funds for this charity and take the opportunity to socialise, network and meet the lovely girls that took part.

Follow our Tweets on Twitter under #thenwcalendar for running updates/ conversation between the calendar girls

OR

Visit the website dedicated to The Networking Women Breast Cancer Haven Charity Calendar to see the profiles of some of the women involved and to order either your copy of the calendar or your tickets to the celebration launch party!

I’ve decided to talk just a bit about my hobbies and pastimes – I have been talking about one of my ongoing pastimes at some of the business breakfast meetings I attend.

It was quite a surprise when I was asked to do the same subject for a talk to one of the groups out of my area (talking to your own group is one thing!) So I went to this business breakfast meeting in Corby, Northamptonshire, to combine business networking with presenting this talk on one of my ongoing pastimes…

I have a variety of hobbies/ pastimes (in fact I often tell people my hobby is hobbies). I like to be creative, I like water-colour painting, crochet, cross-stitch, gardening…all manner of pastimes. I also have an ongoing interest in Genealogy and my family tree, not least because my own maternal Grandmother was 100 in June this year. When you acknowledge the amazing fact that people have lived for so long and seen so much; but in all honesty you know that must come to an end, it begs the question “who knows about the things that my relative knows”?

We are so wrapped up in technology these days – it provides us with entertainment that is just there at the touch of a button (so to speak). As families we are so spread around the country or the world, we have little time in these days of rush, rush, rush to sit and listen to the family history, stories that once would have been the centre of family life. And let’s face it even if we did have the time, how many of us would take that time and use it to sit and talk or listen to someone else tell us about our heritage, our family history. Certainly our children don’t even really have an interest in the ‘old’ films we grew up with; they leave the room or change channels or play on the Wii or something similar!

Now I’m not suggesting we sit and dwell on things gone by, things we can’t change or things that we might regret…No, I don’t believe in regrets; what’s happened is gone, we can only learn and move on. Using what we have learnt from our actions/ reactions, being thankful for the opportunity to learn from them, (lol…sorry life lesson over).

My talk is about family trees, about taking an interest in our family history! Why? Because it shows us our progression as a human being, as a person, it gives us something to marvel at and celebrate our fortune, our movement forward…

I am working (sort of part-time) on my family tree, and I talked about the things I discovered to my breakfast group;

The occupations and how they have changed and the perception of that occupation today?! The longevity of life or lack of it, the constant procreation to ensure the family name, how the Father’s Christian name would traditionally be given to the first born son, how the actual names have changed?! These things interest me hugely, and I wanted to convey that to my listeners.

I believe I succeeded, there were a lot of follow-up questions; one of which was a question about a surname and how it came to be in existence, (it was believed that it had been made up because there appeared to be no trace of anyone else with that surname) I decided to investigate this believed anomaly…I only did the scantest of checks (as far as family history research goes), but found there to be quite a number of people historically with the name in question, (not hundreds you understand, we weren’t talking about Smith or anything commonly known); so without trying too hard I had already disproved a family belief to a degree; this is not always the way you want a story to go, but in this instance I feel it gave a measure of reassurance to the person concerned to understand they had real roots.

I get satisfaction from succeeding at a task or interest that has caught my attention, this instance had flamed my desire to find something of substance, to discover a link using my acquired knowledge, and that kind of determination and persistence is what I use to complete any task, hobby or pastime I undertake – I don’t like to fail or at least feel I have not given my best try.

Shouldn’t we be able to say that about our business, our relationships, and our whole life?!

I have often been told by my loving daughter that I think too much; by that she means I over analyse actions, words etc – in some respects I do think she is right, but then I was told to read a particular book.

I regularly attend breakfast meetings, I have mentioned in earlier blogs that I use these to increase my personal and business profile, allowing potential clients and word of mouth referrers to get to know me, about me and consider me a good and valuable extension of their own business or for someone they know in business. I’m not on one of my little ‘Ronnie Corbett’ moments here, I am explaining how I came to be told about this particular book and its meaning to me and you!

I went to my breakfast meeting on Tuesday with the intention of meeting one of my clients after the meeting to get some work done. This particular client works as a garden designer/ landscaper and builder of wooden structures specifically for use in the garden, so obviously he is outside whenever the weather permits…anyway enough explanation of the reason for being at this particular meeting! While I was setting up the laptop I cleared some space on the booking in table and moved a book that had been place there – the group leader for this meeting told me it was hers, it had just been returned to her by another member who she had recommended it to, she went on to tell me that I should read it too, this was supported quite vehemently by my client. Now I love books, I love reading and don’t really need any encouragement to take up a book; the title of this book really intrigued me and it was one of those really nice looking books, it kind of beckoned to me (I know that probably sounds daft, but really I felt drawn to this book,) I had no choice but to take them both up on their suggestion of borrowing the book to read for myself….

Going back to an earlier blog I told you about using a business coach – my original business coach and mentor used to get me to do “I am’s”, these are empowering sentences about you – things you want to be true in your life and or your business; I did them, it felt weird at first but the resulting feeling I got was fantastic. One of my clients is a friend and business coach, and is also so passionate about what he does that he likes to ensure that I am always positive and charged up for my business, he telephones on random occasions to check how I am feeling how I am responding to calls, do I sound happy, relaxed that sort of thing (and I am not allowed to say “not bad” or “fine”.) This might sound a bit stalker-ish but really it’s not it’s what he is good at, making sure I have the right mental attitude for my business and me!

Anyway, I have also made a concerted effort over the last few years to stop negatively criticising people around me; we all do it, someone reacts in a certain way or says something and we jump on them as if we are the World’s experts in how to live life, how to present ourselves behave, speak etc . By making ourselves the one to criticise the ‘expert’ we need to ensure we are not generating negative thoughts, repeated negative thoughts have the power to manifest themselves.

I remember a talk a member of my networking group gave one morning about the brain not understanding negatives – this was also in the messages I received from both business coaches in my life, but somehow that message did not quite hit the target. At this network meeting it struck home – the message was this; the brain does not register negatives, so if you say there is no such thing as a pink elephant…Yep you got it a pink elephant just popped into your head didn’t it?! If you tell a child not to drop the plates, they will hear “drop the plates”…so are you going to be surprised when they do drop the plates? My local radio station has been broadcasting a message this summer in an attempt to stop children/ people swimming in the lakes/ locks/ rivers in the area – what do you suppose their message says?? Yep you got it again, they’re saying do not swim in the lakes etc, so will everyone be surprised when records show the number swimming in the lakes has gone up?

So my thinking has already registered that negative thoughts and positive thoughts have an effect on the way we think or react or behave…but what a revelation when I started reading this book, I was so surprised at the truth written in this book that I actually exclaimed out loud! This book says it all; we have the power to change not only our lives but the lives of others by using our thoughts?! How amazing is that…whatever is going on in our lives right now, this minute, is a result of our thoughts in the past. If this sounds all a bit star-gazery or anything bear with me, really it works, I’ve seen it from my sessions with my business coaches and friends – if you think positive thoughts; and you are more careful about your reactions and what you say, to reduce negative feelings, you can influence what comes to you!

Believe me, read the book – It’s called “The Secret” written by Rhonda Byrne. It makes total sense; it reveals the Great Secret of the Universe. For me it’s something I always knew deep down, but I have never seen it written with such clarity. Be more thoughtful, less resentful, take time to consider others before answering, reacting, responding – why have they done/ said that or behaved that way. Look to yourself before judging others, think powerful good thoughts and you will transmit your thoughts and they will be reflected back to you with positivity.

So if you want a successful business – think a positive business, think about lots of clients, think about where you want your business to be and envisage it, really see it, believe it and think it…It will come back to you!

I want to add my own thanks and acknowledgements to this blog – for without the following people  I would not have found such a profound book and read “The Secret”.

Julia Doherty of Ethos recruitment – for the loan of her copy of the book.

Steve Horne of 5Design – for his insistence that I read said book.

Jon Baker of Venture-Now for his ongoing support and friendship.

Rhonda Byrne for writing such an amazing book.

Extra thanks to Ronnnie Corbett OBE  for allowing me to name my little digression’s after him!

I have recently started following my interest in the teachings/ wisdom of people greater than I: one of these is the Dalai Lama. I have purchased a couple of books written by or in conjunction with him; some of his words are so pertinent that you cannot help but be inspired. This inspiration allows me to stand back from some of the stresses of life but still maintain my motivation.

The saying I have included below sums up, I think, how I feel I am approaching clients/ businesses that need/ ask for my help. I am truly passionate about helping other people to arrange their lives/ businesses so they can continue or go back to what they are passionate about, what they went into business to do.

“If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively.”

His Holiness, the Dalai Lama

Saturday 12th June 2010 was the day arranged for The National VA Conference and Awards for 2010 – this event is in its fourth year apparently, though it was my first time. I was setting up my business as a virtual pa through 2009, not knowing there was a whole support network behind the VA industry. The conference was arranged by a team of VAs headed by Carmen McDougall of The Virtual Assistant Coaching and Training Company.

As this was my first visit to the conference, I was keen to meet some of the VAs that have supported me emotionally, technologically, and with my education of being a VA,  through my time getting my business off the ground; truly if it were not for them I might be telling a different story in years to come. I had met, chatted to and engaged with (virtually of course) women who have perhaps been in the VA business for longer than me, (that’s not difficult I am a bit of a newbie, only having been in business for myself a little under a year, we communicated on Skype chat, we supported one another, offered excesses of work or expertise in particular fields. The value of the VASG (virtual assistant support group) is second to none, three very dear ladies have been there for me and others like me since I became a member, and it was great to meet then yesterday in person at The National VA Conference and Awards 2010 – so my thanks to Dee Uzoka from  http://va-in-medway.co.uk/ Ann-Marie Mittleman from http://www.avirtualangel.co.uk/ and Emily Robe from http://www.emilyrobe.co.uk/ for everything you do under your umbrella of the VASG, for winning The Spirit of the VA Award 2010, and everything you have done for me; it was so great meeting you and having real hugs (so much better than virtual ones).

Being a PA is tremendously enjoyable, exciting, satisfying and challenging – being a VA is that 10 fold! Technology is constantly changing, updating etc and programmes change to move with the technology; the amazing thing is so are businesses now acknowledging the need to change, and some of the sponsors and speakers at The National VA Conference and Awards 2010 were amazingly supportive and encouraging of the VA industry as well as the individuals that make up that industry.

These businesses and their MDs their CEOs have met some of our amazing VAs and have totally seen the value that a VA can bring to businesses and to their own clients. So much so many of them are offering deals or partnerships to VAs that use their packages/ products/ programmes. They acknowledge that by using a VA along with their product you can reduce your time spent running your business and get on with what you went into business to do! This is so tremendously exciting that the job that we do is so valued, it is something we have known for a long time, but it is only now that it is being really seen.

I look forward to constantly expanding my knowledge to benefit not only my business, but to offer support or expertise to VASG members and most importantly to you as business men and business women, because in the long run the more expertise and knowledge I have the more you will benefit.